Do you know why I reacted like that that day?

It's because I thought you left.

I thought you were never coming back.

I thought that I would never see you,

Or hear you,

Or smell you ever again.

But then I unexpectedly saw you,

And I was so happy.

The happiest I've ever been,

In my entire life.

And when I heard that you were coming back after some time,

I thought "Alright, I'll wait...

As long as I get to see you again."

And I was happy.

Happy that that wasn't the last time I'd ever see you.

But today when I heard that you aren't coming back...

I could swear my heart broke.

I could swear that I've never wanted to kill myself before until now.

But no, that's still something I'll never ever do.

But why do you have to go?!

Tell me.

Why.

Your last words to me were "See you".

Guess you're not.

We're not going to see each other again.

Because you're leaving and you're not coming back.

And you just left me here,

Drowning in my own tears and self-pity.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I'm so stupid.

Stupid for ever loving you in the first place.

I still remember that stupid promise I made when I first saw you.

You made me break it.

No, I broke it myself. It's not you. It's me.

It's always me.

Always me who ends up getting hurt.

Why is it always me?

And you're just gonna leave happily,

Leave to the place where you like to be.

At least come back to visit.

I'm not looking forward to time passing anymore.

I did when I heard that you were coming back.

But what happened?

Why aren't you coming back anymore?

Stupid life of mine.

Nothing goes right.

Nothing ever will.

Love (with a broken) ♥
Zeal.



And now I'm smiling through the pain. I have to pretend that everything's fine when I'm DYING inside. I have to glue my heart together so no one will be able to tell that's something's VERY wrong with me. I have to smile through the pain and pretend that my broken heart is strong and healthy. When it's not. When it's turning black. Goodbye. You're not gonna keep your promise. You didn't say a last goodbye. I think you hate me. Maybe you find me annoying. At least I kept that part of the stupid promise I made. The stupid promise, the one I broke at least half of. Goodbye forever.