I hate watching people leave,

It brings me pain.

Especially when you left.

I swear, never have I been so hurt before.

Hurt and heart broken.

Greatly saddened.

And I'm sorry,

I really am,

For loving you,

But I can't help it!

I hope you understand.

Trust me, I have been trying to get over you.

I've been trying my absolute hardest.

But nothing's working.

Each time I try,

You just come back to my head stronger than before.

And so each time,

It just hurts me even more.

At one point,

I told myself it would be no use to try anymore.

Because the thought of you just hurts me more each time I try to forget you.

But now, I've decided that I have to keep trying.

Because I know you hate it that I love you.

So I'm trying.

But you're not making it easier for me.

EVERYDAY, I swear it's EVERYDAY,

I see something, hear something or smell something that reminds me of you.

Everyday.

You have no idea how hard it is for me.

And every time I do see, hear or smell (something that reminds me of) you,

I just feel like breaking down.

And it's hard to resist the urge of breaking down,

But I'm trying my best.

I wish you knew,

I wish so badly that you knew,

How hard I'm trying.

Maybe then you wouldn't hate me.

Maybe then you'd forgive me.

But what does it matter?

You left and you're not coming back.

I wonder why.

And it's unbearable.

It's unbearable, this pain.

I can literally feel a dull ache in my chest,

Like something's wrong with my heart.

Maybe there really is something wrong with it,

But I think it's because of you,

I don't know,

That's what I feel.

I think it's because you left.

Now,

ALL I dream about, is you.

Well, at least once a night.

How do I know?

Because I can always remember them.

I can always remember the dreams I dreamt of you.

And even beyond that,

I feel that there are certain dreams I don't remember,

But I know you're in some of them, too.

Why do I dream of you all the time?

I'm confused,

I'm hurt,

And I'm heart broken.

Because of you.

Because I loved you.

I still do.

I hate this.

I hate it so freaking much.

And I hate myself for falling for you,

For breaking the promise I made to myself,

The one I tried so hard to keep.

And broke, in the end.

All my thoughts of you,

Locked up inside of me.

I want to talk to you.

I want to talk about you to people.

But no one wants to talk about you, I think.

Who would want to listen to my awful love life?

And you have absolutely no idea how hard it is,

To keep a straight face in front of everyone.

You have absolutely no idea how hard it is,

To have to laugh and smile in front of everyone,

While I'm fucking dying inside.

But I guess that's just how it has to be.

I can't make other people suffer because of me,

Because I love you.

That would be just mean.

So I lock everything up inside of me.

My heart is probably bursting now.

Maybe that's why it's so painful.

I love you.

I'll love you forever.

Love♥
Zeal.



I'm here without you baby, but you're still on my lonely mind. I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time. I'm here without you baby but you're still with me in my dreams and tonight, it's only you and me.