Dear you,
Yeah, it's you again.
The letters I write to you are always long.
I'll try to keep this one short.
Kay, here goes.
It used to be just the two of us.
You know? We were happy, we were laughing and I loved you so much.
Muchmuch more than I love you now.
But then, that day came.
And then everyone came along.
Everyone started falling in love and you stated noticing people.
(Call me selfish, but some of them I wish you had never met).
Did you forget the times we spent together?
Of course you did.
You never even knew.
But I remember.
I knew.
I still know.
Every time I look at you, I remember those times.
And I fall in love with you all over again.
And that is why I don't think I'll ever fall out of love with you.
I fell too hard.
And maybe, just maybe, too far.
And it absolutely kills me to know that you'll never love me.
After all those times, I think any girl would believe that this really is love.
But what kind of love is one-sided?
And what kind of love is this? When reality gets in the way?
Shouldn't love be able to overcome anything?
It should be stronger than reality.
So if this was love, surely we'd find a way.
But we can't, can we?
Aside from reality getting in the way,
You don't even feel the same for me anyway.
You stole my heart and you won't return it,
But you still have your own heart in check.
You're not gonna let your heart feel foolish things.
Maybe you're strong, but it could be that you're just..
Not the guy I thought you were.
If you're wondering how this relates to the title of this letter,
Yes, I miss you physically,
But mostly, I miss the person you used to be.
The one I knew so well.
The one I was so happy with,
The one who made me feel as though I knew who I actually was.
The one I loved.
I don't even know if I love you anymore.
Maybe it's the memories that are making me hold on to you.
I think maybe, some part of me believes that you are in fact the person I thought I knew.
Could it all just be a facade?
Or is it really just me?
I'm so confused and I don't know what to do.
Everyone tells me that this is wrong.
But tell me, how can it be wrong if it feels so fucking right?
I hate this so, so much.
Why you of all people?
Why. You.
I hate my heart.
Always loving the wrong people.
And you're the worst of all.
Everything about you is so wrong but everything's also so right, if you look at it from another angle.
Fuck this shit, man.
I hate love.
Now I'm crying.
Everything about this is so messed up.
Maybe I should just move away.
Leave you behind, never speak of you ever again,
Delete everything that reminds me of you...
But how am I supposed to do that,
When every. single. freaking. thing I see reminds me of you after a while?
Why'd you have to make this so hard for me?
Oh, great.
Now I'm blaming you when you didn't do a single thing.
It's all my fault.
I wish someone knew how I'm feeling inside.
If I told you, oh, God.
I don't even want to think about how you'd react.
You'd probably get so freaked out or something.
I hate this.
I hate not being able to confide in you.
I've already told the people I trust, but I know they can't help me through this as well.
No one can save me from this freaking situation.
I'm sorry for blaming you,
I'm sorry for freaking you out,
I'm sorry for being there,
I'm sorry for being happy with you,
I'm sorry I ever dreamt about you,
I'm sorry that you had to meet me,
I'm sorry that you had to see my face,
I'm sorry I love(d) you.
Trust me, if I could stop loving you, I would.
But I can't.
I'm doing all I can.
I'm not admitting it and I'm trying to avoid you.
But my heart just takes control of me.
So this is really stupid and I'm so screwed up.
Yeah.
Love♥
Zeal.






I don't know anymore.


@ 8/24/2010 07:18:00 PM