This is the truth right now.

We've been talking late into the night nowadays, but we've stopped because I refuse to continue.

And now I'm not sleeping properly because I'm haunted every night now, tempted so badly to just message you.

But I won't. I refuse to.

Love♥
Zeal.

I wonder how you are. Sleeping well, I assume? I hope you are. I really hope so. I hope you're having sweet dreams. And I'm hoping with a fragile hope that I'm in them.

In those eyes,

Love, dead love,
Only that cold love...
Vicious and hissing,
Eating her alive,
Drowning her.

Young naive heart,
Only fourteen years.
Unrequited love,

It's the cause of her death.

To have your love thrown away,
Rotting.
Unanswered.
She suffered,
Too much for her young heart.
Each time she reminisces,
Dreams,

Yearns...
Outside she fakes her smiles,
Until her cheeks ache.

But under the pretense, she cries.
Until she bleeds,
Till there's a hole in her heart.

Yet no one notices.
Or cares.
Ultimately, she's dying alone.

Love made her this way.
Everyone else doesn't suffer the way she does.
Fair or not,
To her it's the same.

Maybe it's because she doesn't deserve him.
Especially since he looks like an angel.

Terrifying good looks,
Other-worldly charm.

Despair of hers rings out clearly,
I don't understand... but her words are gone,
Eaten by the wind.

---

What is this?

What are we?

Tell me because I'm not so sure.

You asked me to meet you.

Then you changed your mind,

But you still asked me to meet you for a few seconds.

Even though it is for a proper reason, even though it wasn't inappropriate,

What was that?

And all the times I've been staying up late to talk to you.

The secrets you shared with me and the secrets I shared with you.

Do you do that with other girls?

This is really confusing because I don't know what we're becoming.

And I don't even know if it's my imagination if we are becoming something,

Or if we're still the same.

We're probably still the same.

But I don't know.

Maybe you pity me, maybe you're using me.

Maybe you're just being nice and friendly.

But you trust me.

You said so yourself.

You told me some of your secrets.

Trusting that I'd keep them.

And yes I am going to.

I'll take them to my grave.

But I am aware that someone else knows as well.

So what is this?

If everyone is going to know, then I'll be absolutely sure that we are nothing.

But if it's only the two of us, I'm not sure.

And do you know what I hate the most?

That you have such a fucking huge impact on me, my feelings and my decisions.

Everything is based on you now.

The worst thing is that you don't even know.

You said that you thought I hated you.

Are you really that blind?

Damn it. Damn this.

I FUCKING LOVE YOU, CAN'T YOU SEE?

I'm pretty sure you know it, though.

Maybe I'm confusing you.

I think I can guess what you're thinking about this.

You're confused because you know that I love you but sometimes, it seems as though I hate you.

Am I right?

If I am, then you are right as well.

Sometimes I hate you, but I'm always loving you. Even when I hate you.

If that makes any sense.

And sometimes, I avoid you, but when you look at me I smile like a fool but then a few seconds later I ignore you completely.

And then you're confused, right?

Well I only do that because I don't want you to know that I love you.

Even though sometimes I wish you knew, because it would make things so much easier.

But that is something you can never know.

Or at least, it's something I'll never tell you.

Not until you tell me first, so basically, I'm never gonna say it to you.

But goddammit, I love you so much, sometimes I tear up just thinking about it.

Thank you for being there, even though you're not always there.

Thank you for existing and for living.

Thank you for coming into my life and for teaching me.

Teaching me about love and life, and problems and secrets.

I will always be grateful.

Forever and always.

Love♥
Zeal.



Words really really cannot describe this.

Day 1 - Your favorite character

I have two; Katherine Pierce and Damon Salvatore.

Katherine, because I pity her. She really did love Stefan and no one believed her. She did everything only out of love, so that she could be with Stefan. She's just a (vampire) girl who got hurt really bad and everyone took her the wrong way. She's smart also. And sexy and badass. I love her.

Damon, because I pity him also. It's like the same thing as Katherine. He really did love Elena but no one knew he was serious. They all thought he was just playing. But he really does care for her and wouldn't let anything hurt her. He likes to pretend that there is no pain, but that's why he's so cruel sometimes. Thank god that was only the first few episodes of season 1. In season 2, he's so sweet and charming. I love him.

Day 2 - Your least favorite character

I think I'd have to say Caroline. I find her really annoying even though she's really pretty.

Day 3 - Your favorite guest-star

Well if it's true that Leighton Meester is gonna guest star soon, then her :)

Day 4 - Your least favorite guest-star

I don't have one. I think all the guest stars were good :)

Love♥
Zeal.



Then I'll protect her.

30 Day Vampire Diaries Challenge

Day 1 - Your favorite character
Day 2 - Your least favorite character
Day 3 - Your favorite guest-star
Day 4 - Your least favorite guest-star
Day 5 - Your favorite episode
Day 6 - Your least favorite episode
Day 7 - Your favorite Damon scene
Day 8 - Your favorite Stefan scene
Day 9 - Your favorite Elena scene
Day 10 - Your favorite Damon one-liner
Day 11 - Your favorite quote
Day 12 - Your favorite funny scene
Day 13 - A scene that makes you sad/cry
Day 14 - A scene that makes you happy
Day 15 - A scene that makes you angry
Day 16 - An episode that pissed you off
Day 17 - Your favorite TVD friendship
Day 18 - Your favorite TVD romance
Day 19 - Your favorite TVD song
Day 20 - A whacky ship that you would love
Day 21 - Your favorite character entrance
Day 22 - Your favorite minor character
Day 23 - The character that is most like you
Day 24 - An episode you wish never happened
Day 25 - Something that you wish happened but didn’t
Day 26 - Your favorite TVD fanvid
Day 27 - Your favorite cast picture
Day 28 - Most irritating character
Day 29 - Your favorite TVD fanfic
Day 30 - Anything TVD related

Love♥
Zeal.



I think I'll do this first.

Day 01: Your favorite song.

Top 5? :) There's no freaking way I can just choose one.

In no particular order (and at the moment only) :

1. Lights Off - Jay Sean.

2. Sugar We're Goin' Down - Fall Out Boy.

3. Perfect - Hedley.

4. All About You - McFly.

5. Today My Life Begins - Bruno Mars.

Day 02: Your least favorite song.

Wow, I really don't know. Erm. I have quite a few I dislike. The first one that popped into my head was Can't Be Tamed - Miley Cyrus.

Day 03: A song that makes you happy.

Man Watcha Doing? - FM Static is one of them. Another one is, The Middle - Jimmy Eat World. And Tongue Tied - Faber Drive. There are a lot actually! Haha.

Day 04: A song that makes you sad.

1. The Scientist - Coldplay.

That song ALWAYS makes me feel like crying and I don't know why. Ugh.

2. Don't Wanna Miss A Thing - Aerosmith.

3. I Miss You - Blink 182.

4. My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion.

5. Tonight - FM Static.

6. When I'm With You - Faber Drive

7. Here Without You - 3 Doors Down. I will never ever ever stop loving this song.

Love♥
Zeal.



Music is instinctual.

30 Day Music Challenge

Day 01: Your favorite song.
Day 02: Your least favorite song.
Day 03: A song that makes you happy.
Day 04: A song that makes you sad.
Day 05: A song that reminds you of someone.
Day 06: A song that reminds of you of somewhere.
Day 07: A song that reminds you of a certain event.
Day 08: A song that you know all the words to.
Day 09: A song that you can fall asleep to.
Day 10: A song that makes you fall asleep.
Day 11: A song from your favorite band.
Day 12: A song from a band you hate.
Day 13: A song that is a guilty pleasure.
Day 14: A song that no one would expect you to love.
Day 15: A song that describes you.
Day 16: A song that you used to love but now hate.
Day 17: A song that you hear often on the radio.
Day 18: A song that you wish you heard on the radio.
Day 19: A song from your favorite album.
Day 20: A song that you listen to when you’re angry.
Day 21: A song that you listen to when you’re happy.
Day 22: A song that you listen to when you’re sad.
Day 23: A song that you want to play at your wedding.
Day 24: A song that you want to play at your funeral.
Day 25: A song that makes you laugh.
Day 26: A song that you can play on an instrument.
Day 27: A song that you wish you could play.
Day 28: A song that makes you feel guilty.
Day 29: A song from your childhood.
Day 30: Your favorite song at this time last year.

Love♥
Zeal.



What is life without music?