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But love is really all that we need.

♥You're my heart's tragedy.
Saturday, July 31, 2010

How I wish you lied.

How I wish you lied.

How I wish you lied.

How I wish you lied.

How I wish you lied.

How I wish you lied.

How I wish you lied.

How I wish you lied.

How I wish you lied.

How I wish you lied.

How I wish you lied.

How I wish you lied.

How I wish you lied.

How I wish you lied.

BUT YOU DIDN'T.

It's the truth.

The hurtful truth.

*Sigh* Life can be such a bitch, I swear.

And I hatehatehate false hope coz I'm such a fucking dreamer.

You and I, we'll always be unfinished business.

Never tell your problems to anyone. 20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.

The truth hurts, it tears your heart apart. So build walls. But remember, the fall is always harder when the walls you build are higher.

AND IF YOU'RE GONNA LIE, KEEP YOUR STORY STRAIGHT.

You may not know it, but sometimes, the smallest things you say or do hurt me a lot. Maybe I'm just sensitive, maybe I'm just weak. But they still hurt me.

Wishing only wounds the soul, wishing only wounds the heart. Wishing only brings tears to your eyes, soulful eyes, no matter how pretty. Feelings always hurt, wishing always hurts.

I'm gonna capture your heart and keep it with mine for eternity.

I secretly stare at you whenever you're looking in another direction. Then I think you'd feel my eyes on you and you'd look at me and I'd look away then when you look away again, I look back at you and see that you're smiling to yourself. It always happens. Even though the littlest things you do hurt me, the littlest things you do can also make me oh, so HAPPY.

You're so close, yet so far. I'll never be able to reach you, yet you stand with me every day.

Confession? You broke my heart, but you also made me stronger.

I need you to know I miss you. I miss you so bad.

Even though this doesn't mean anything to you, I still love how our hands used to brush together accidentally and neither of us would move away.

You know, it's funny how someone can break your heart yet you can still love him with all the little pieces.

There's no past tense to love. You either never did, or still do.

Why am I so afraid to lose you when you weren't even mine to begin with?

I have decided to keep the promise I made. Because I can't afford putting you first in life. My friends have always been there for me, they have always apologised if they hurt me, you haven't and you're the one who hurt me the most. So I can't afford to love you more than my friends even though you make my heart beat so fast and make me feel like jumping off the edge of a building just to see if I can flyyy.

Soon, I'll be the one leaving you. Just you wait.

It's not what I feel for you. It's what I don't feel for anyone but you.

Love♥
Zeal.



You're way too wrong for me. And I can never change that fact, no matter how much I wish and how hard I try.

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/31/2010 03:32:00 PM



♥Kidnap my heart, take me with you.
Friday, July 30, 2010

Thinking about you makes me go crazy.

Thinking about you sets my heart on fire.

I love the way you glance at me from the side,

I love the way I know when you're listening in on my conversations.

I lovelovelove the way you do what you do.

Love♥
Zeal.



Can't let you slip through my fingers again, or I'll go insane. So take my hand, I'll never let go,

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/30/2010 08:24:00 PM



♥Baby, we're stuck with each other.
Thursday, July 29, 2010

Hello.

Okay, I'm really bored, and I found this so I decided to do it :P

Vampire Academy Questions!

Who is your favorite character?
- Rose or Adrian :)

Who’s your favorite Moroi?
- Adrian!

What’re three of your favorite quotes from the stories?
- "Love fades. Mine has." - Dimitri Belikov.

- “Don’t worry, little dhampir. You might be surrounded by clouds, but you’ll always be like sunshine to me.” - Adrian Ivashkov.

- "You cant force love, I realized. It's there or it isn't. If it's not there you have to be able to admit it. If it is there, you've got to do whatever it takes to protect the one you love." - Rosemarie Hathaway.

What was your favorite Rose and Adrian moment?
- I love all the Rose/Adrian moments! Heehee.

How about your favorite Lissa and Rose moment?
- Hmm, can't remember. But I like when Rose was fighting for Lissa in Lissa's head. Haha, that was really cool.

What was your favorite adventure/battle?
- When Rose killed her first two Strigoi in Frostbite.

Which book cover was your favorite?
- Shadow Kiss!

Are these books among your favorite books of all?
- Yeah!

This or That?

Vampire Academy or Frostbite?
- Frostbite! :)

Frostbite or Shadow Kiss?
- Shadow Kiss.

Shadow Kiss or Vampire Academy?
- Shadow Kiss.

Are you more excited about Succubus Shadows or Spirit Bond?
- Well, Spirit Bound is already out, so Succubus Shadows :)

Who do you want to see Rose with most: Dimitri or Adrian?
- Adriannn? I don't know!

Who do you like more: Rose or Dimitri?
- Rose.

Rose or Adrian?
- Adrian.

Rose or Lissa?
- Rose.

Lissa or Adrian?
- Adrian!

Rose or Mia?
- Rose.

Christian or Lissa?
- Christian.

Christian or Dimitri?
- Christian.

Kirova or Alberta?
- Alberta.

Adrian or Christian?
- Adrian!

Janine Hathaway or Tasha Ozera?
- Janine.

Lissa or Mia?
- Lissa.

Eddie or Mason
- Mason.

Anna or Vladimir?
- Anna.

Adrian or Mason?
- ADRIAN!

Eddie or Christian?
- Christian.

Eddie or Adrian?
- Adrian.

Who’s the better villain: Blonde Strigoi (Nathan) or Victor?
- Victor, of courseee!

Moroi or Dhampir?
- Dhampir for sureee!

Love♥
Zeal.



I loveee Adrian! Heehee.

Love fades.

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/29/2010 05:32:00 PM



♥It's getting late, but I wanna stay with you.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Hello.

Today I saw another side of you,

It was an interesting experience.

I love the way you look when you're shocked,

I love the way you count beats,

I love the way you snap your fingers,

I love the way talk to me and how it makes me feel (You have no idea).

I love the way you do every single little thing.

I swear.



But you were the one who made me feel like anything was possible.

Love♥
Zeal.

You'll never know how much you mean to me. If it's the last thing I would want, it would be for you to know how much I love you.

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/28/2010 10:39:00 PM



♥Never say never.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010



Holy shit, who knew these existed?

Damn, I need one now.

N.O.W.

So badly!

Okay, bye.

Haha.

CRAVINGS.

Love♥
Zeal.

It's almost shocking, what you thought could turn out to be so different.

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/27/2010 09:52:00 PM



♥I'll be love's suicide.

Hello.

Peopleee, comment okay!

In my tagboard :]

About whether you prefer the new or old blogging.

Thanks!



Or you're too scared to fall completely for that person...

I think I'm breaking another promise to myself.

Love♥
Zeal.

You're always the reason.

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/27/2010 07:27:00 PM



♥Can't you see that you lie to yourself?
Saturday, July 24, 2010

Hello.

I need your opinion!

Do you prefer the new way of blogging (The pictures and a few words only),

Or my old way (The normal kind of posts).

Let me know okay!

Thankyouuu! :]



CRAVINGS.

Ah, shit.

I won't be having these for a loooong time.

27 August - ARTS NIGHT! 2 .

I don't know what the 2 is for, but yeah it's there.

Please come quickly so I can eat my chocolate and ice-cream and JUNK FOOD again.

Thank you :) Heehee.



Actually, though, it's a good way to lose weight.

Heh :)

So, there's a plus point and a major bad one.

But the plus point is a major good one too.

OH WELL.

I'll try my hardest to stay away from all the best food in the world.

Okayyy.

The real picture for today :



I wish you turn out to be different and special.

But I can only wish because I know you won't be different.

This love is hard because it can never work,

And it's not mutual.

Love♥
Zeal.

Cupid, next time shoot us both.

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/24/2010 06:47:00 PM



♥Where's my angel?
Friday, July 23, 2010



But I am going to, no matter what.

Love♥
Zeal.

This love is hard.

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/23/2010 08:10:00 PM



♥Lie to me because I love the way you lie.
Thursday, July 22, 2010



She said : Lie to me.
He said : I love you.

Love♥
Zeal.

The list and all the letters.

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/22/2010 05:29:00 PM



♥I've become so numb.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010



And in that short moment,

Everything feels all right.

Iloveyou.

Love♥
Zeal.

I wish you needed me.

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/21/2010 08:18:00 PM



♥I can just look up and know the stars are holding you.
Monday, July 19, 2010

Hello.

From now on right,

I think I'll just post pictures only.

No words :]

Would it be better that way?

I think I'll just try it out first :)

So, picture of the day,

That describes my mood and everything.



Boy, you have no idea.

:)

Love♥
Zeal.

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/19/2010 09:33:00 PM



♥You ever loved someone so much you couldn't breathe?

Hello.

Quick update (:

So went to school.

SICK :(

So damn tired luh.

Went to school, the usual stuff.

Rcube was damn crowded today.

Got people outside also. Haha.

So anyway, lessons were the usual.

Then after school, went to eat with drama babes.

My stomach was damn pain ):

Still is.

I don't know why.

So anyway, had drama.

The usual.

Really tiring but fun.

Had to scrub the floor!

Haha. BUT. It was fun :P

Idk why.

Maybe it's coz I never scrubbed the floor before. Heh.

So then went home luh.

So tired now.

And my nose and throat are killing me.

Argh. So pain.

Yep.

Good thing there's no homework :)

I don't have the energy to do anything now.

I'm just gonna listen to music after this.

Okay, so I'm going now.

Bye!

Love♥
Zeal.



When it comes to love, everything's a blur.

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/19/2010 08:34:00 PM



♥I'll be patiently waiting.
Sunday, July 18, 2010

When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she’s quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you
Give her your attention

When she pulls away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she’s beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don’t say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind <3

When she’s scared
Protect her

When she steals your favorite hoodie
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn’t answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she says that she loves you
she really does more than you can understand

When she grabs at your hands
Hold her’s and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you;
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does

When she says it’s over
she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin
she wants you to read it

- Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything

- When she’s mad hug her tight and don’t let go

- When she says she’s ok don’t believe it, talk with her because ten years later she’ll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

-Treat her like she’s all that matters to you

- Stay up all night with her when she’s sick

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it’s stupid

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes

-When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her

-Let her know she’s important.

- Don’t talk about other girls around her

- Kiss her in the pouring rain

- When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is:
“Whose ass am i kicking baby?”

Love♥
Zeal.



I'm still waiting for you.

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/18/2010 09:02:00 PM



♥Kidnap my heart.

Hello.

Okay, so it's the 18th today!

I was way too tired to blog last night when I got home.

Got home at 11 something, by the way.

So, wow, I have a lot to blog about!

The 16th.


Went to school,

The usual.

Then after school had drama.

Worked on Act 1, Scene 2 for a bit.

Then went for the drama elect thing! :)

We didn't have dinner, though ):

Haha. So anyway,

We reached Dunman High at 5 something I think.

Slacked, then went to watch the Act Off.

It wasn't a play.

It was like, there are 4 groups.

And they have to challenge each other to some drama games.

It was so fun.

Mr Dwayne should have been there.

Then we can play it next timeee!

Paper Chase was the most fun.

It was damn funny!

Then got a call from Pohyi,

It was about Wakawaka, this reallyyy cute kitten that was abandoned!

But Sabrina's adopting it! :)

Okay, so after the Act Off, (Dunman High won, by the way)

Went to slack some more.

It ended at 8.15 but the bus was supposed to come at 9.30 or something.

So, we kinda explored the school a little.

It was me, Kit Wai, Jolene, Rene and Jayne :)

In the end, Jolene and I just sat on this bench.

The school looks freaky at night,

Especially coz of this statue in the garden.

So anyway, then the bus came and we went back to school.

Took 17 home.

Nearly overslept :\

I was really tired.

But when I reached home, I couldn't sleep yet coz I had to finish something.

But I'm still not done with it! ):

Shit.

So yeah, went to sleeeeeep! :]

The 17th.


So, woke up.

It was raining really heavily.

So nice and cold.

But had to get up for the history competition thing.

So got up and bathed and all.

Met Shernise at the bus stop opposite school.

Went into school to try to help her find her wallet.

But the G.O. was closed ):

So took a bus to Bedok Inter to meet Jolene and Kit Wai.

But, Kit Wai ditched. Haha.

So it was just Jolene.

Took a bus to the market.

Met Kit Wai there.

Then walked to Fengshan CC.

Met with Preetika and Adiba.

Mr Ramlee wasn't there yet, so we called him.

He said he would be a little late.

As usual. Haha.

He told us to go register first.

So, registered and then just slacked for a while.

Then Mr Ramlee came,

And we watched the adults compete.

I forgot who won.

So anyway, then it was the primary schools' turn.

So Shernise and I went to see Christine, Natalie, and Wakawaka!

It's so awesomely cuteee!

Idk if it's a girl or boy, but it looks like a girl :)

So played with Waka for a while at the stage.

And this random boy was there.

So annoying. Haha.

He slapped Shernise! HAHA.

Brat.

So then they called us to go compete.

Preetika managed to answer so many of the questions!

We won, in the end (Y) :D

After that, the St. Pat's boys congratulated us.

One of them is quite hot. Heh.

Christine definitely thinks so ;)

But he's kind of a playboy.

So, yeah.

Sigh. Hot guys are jerks.

Then got the trophy and stuff.

Then went to slack.

Watched a bit of the yoyo performance.

It was really cool :)

So then we decided to do our IT Project.

So we looked around for guys.

We were thinking of asking the St. Pat's guys but we didn't wanna.

And then, Mr Ramlee came and asked us what we were doing.

So we told him...

And guess what?

He wanted to help us!

HAHAHA.

We all think he was actually enjoying it.

Heehee. So funny.

Anyway, then looked around, didn't find anyone.

But thennn,

Ehhh, I saw this guy.

He looked kinda hot from afar.

Haha. He was one of the yoyo guys.

We didn't wanna ask him at first coz we thought he'd be busy.

But then they noticed that I was staring at him and I kept mentioning him.

Uh, so they gave me two choices :

1. Go up to him and ask him if he could help us with our IT project.

OR

2. Christine and Shernise go up to him and ask him for his number for me, excluding the IT project.

I chose 2 :\ Heh.

This is what happened :

Christine and Shernise walks up to BlueBelt guy.

Shernise : Hi.

Xtine : Erm, that girl kinda wants your number *Points to me*

BlueBelt guy : *Stares at me for a while*

Me : *DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS STARING*

BlueBelt guy : Okay.

Xtine : *Shocked* Okay?

BlueBelt guy : Yeah.

Xtine : *Hands him her phone*

BlueBelt guy : Er, I'm kinda sweaty. You type for me. (Or something like that) *Says his number*

Xtine and Shernise comes back to me and tells me what happened and give me his number.

OH, if you wanna know what Mr Ramlee did, go read Chrishernal.

Shernise's part :)

Okay, so then, Mr Ramlee realised that we didn't ask for his name! HAHA.

So we left and I called him.

Found out that his name is Darrell.

Had a conversation, and he decided to help us with our IT project.

YAY (:

So anyway, then we went out to celebrate.

I'm not gonna go into the details, coz it'll be reallyyyy long.

Just that, we went all over the place and it was fuhreaking fun :)

So after the celebration, went to meet my aunt and sisters at Bugis.

Went to eat at this awesome restaurant.

Then went to buy smth but the shop was closed! D:

Both shops were closed! DD:

So just went to Popular.

Bought 4 books. Haha.

Then went to my aunt's house.

Mum and dad picked me up from there.

Then reached home, was damn tired.

Texted at night, and fell asleep waiting for a text.

Wah. Can't remember the last time that happened. Haha.

So, yeah.

The 18th.


Today was so boring!

Didn't do anything ):

Went to church, then went back home to do homework.

Ugh. Homework sucks.

So yeah.

I have to go now.

My family's calling me for dinner.

Okay, so bye.

Love♥
Zeal.



But that's all right, because I like the way it hurts,

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/18/2010 06:08:00 PM



♥I remember the times we spent together.
Thursday, July 15, 2010

Countdown : 2 more days!


Hello.

2 more days, 2 more days!

Even though I'm going for the damn quiz, I know it will still be an awesome day. :)

So, yeah. I'm going. *Sigh*

Kk, nevermind about that.

What I wanted to blog about, was how busy I'm going to be.

Like now, my only free days are Thursday and Saturday.

And if I join drama elect, I will have absolutely no free days at all.

SAD RIGHT.

Damn.

So I don't know if I'll join.

Because I don't think I can cope.

Like I'm busy every single day, even Sunday.

So how the hell am I supposed to complete homework and study and all that?

Cannot luh.

But oh, well.

This Saturday is going to be jam-PACKED.

First, I have to go for the history thing.

Then, I'm going out to celebrate and for IT project.

And thennn, I have to go to North Bridge in the evening.

It'll be exhausting, but fun. :)

So I can't waittt!

Heehee. I'm so excited.

Okay. I have to go.

I have homework and projects to do.

Important projects.

Oh bytheway, I have a new favourite band :

FM Static

Best song : Tonight.

Okay, so byeee!

Love♥
Zeal.



Where have you gone?

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/15/2010 05:43:00 PM



♥Tonight, we lie awake.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Countdown : 3 more days!


Hello!

Only three more days!

But damn it, I have that freaking history quiz shit D:

Can't skip it! ):

It's the worst thing ever, man.

I don't wanna blog about my day.

Too boring.

But I'll blog about Drama (:

Drama was ahmazing.

Practiced the same thing.

And ended at like 6.45 ):

So tired man.

Haven't done any homework, I think.

But I don't think any homework is due tomorrow.

So, yeah.

I need to go bathe.

I need to go eat.

But I'm too tired to leave my chair.

Damn.

Freak. I really don't wanna go for that history quiz! D:

It's ruining all my plans okay.

And it starts at 9 a.m. and ends at 1.00 p.m.

It's like 4 hours long! Stupiddd.

Just for a quiz?

They think I'm so free ah?

I didn't even sign up for it! :(

But, I'll go.

School always come first right?

Do you know how manymany times I've been hearing that?!

God. So pissed.

I'm not even done with my project yet.

And my parents keep asking me to go study.

Why can't I have any free time!

Why can't I just study on weekends?

It's not like I go out every week right.

Whatever.

So I'll just have to go for the quiz.

Maybe before that I can do my other plan.

Then after that I'll go out for 17th JULY.

But then I'll be in school uniform.

And I'll have to go back to bathe and all coz my hair will be screwed up.

Since we have to clip up our fringes.

How in the world does that affect our studies?!

They say it's psychological, but you know what?

I study better when I feel good.

And I don't feel good when I feel like a nerd.

Okay, whateverrr.

I don't have a choice.

They keep telling us to say what we want,

But why? When they won't even listen to us.

Okay, I'm going to bathe now.

I'll update Chrishy later.

Bye.

Love♥
Zeal.



Do you notice when I'm there?

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/14/2010 07:36:00 PM



♥Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Countdown : 4 more days!


Hello.

Okay, today SUCKED ):

Okay, only for one reason, though.

But it affected me badlyyy.

I was so disappointed.

HAHA. Okay, okay.

Blogging bout my day now :)

School was... school.

After school, went to the prata shop for lunch with Xtine, Shernise and V.Chan.

Talked talked talked.

A secret was spilled today.

Guess it isn't a secret now, now that 3 people know about it...

But it's still a secret to me,

Because the other two people who know it are trustworthy people! :)

So I trust them to keep my secret.

SO, no one else will know about it :]

Okay, anyway, then went home for tuition.

My tutor's some old dude.

He just does all the questions for me.

But he explains it too, obviously.

So, he's good.

But he has a faint china accent.

HAHA. So I can't really understand some parts, but it's okay.

I get everything he's teaching me.

Okay.

New favourite song: Tonight - FM Static.

Lyrics

I remember the times we spent together
on those drives
We had a million questions
all about our lives
and when we got to New York
everything felt right
I wish you were here with me
tonight

I remember the days we spent together
were not enough
and it used to feel like dreamin'
except we always woke up
Never thought not having you
here now would hurt so much

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight

I remember the time you told me about when you were eight
And all those things you said that night that just couldn't wait
I remember the car you were last seen in
and the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
and stayed out way too late
I remember the time you SAT AND told me about your Jesus
and how not to look back even if no one believes us
When it hurt so bad sometimes
not having you here...

I sing,
"Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight"

I sing,
"Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight"

---

It's an awesome song.

Go listen to it okay! :)

Okay, bye.

I gotta go have dinner now.

I'll update Chrishy later, I promise!

Bye!

Love♥
Zeal.



It was just one day. Yet it feels exactly the same...

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/13/2010 07:57:00 PM



♥Your words are like the lyrics my heart can never forget.
Monday, July 12, 2010

Countdown : 5 more days!


Hello.

Okay, I don't want to blog about today, except about a few things.

Firstly, Christine is back in school!

Babe, I got loads of stuff to tell you, man!

Secondly, Sherniseee had a very pleasant surprise, yeah? ;)

Thirdly, drama was awesome shiz.

But damn tiring ):

Reached home at like 7.45, man.

Haha. But it was worth it.

So, yeah.

I was actually just updating to update.

Because I didn't want the latest post on my blog to be the one below this.

Yeah.

Okay, so bye!

Love♥
Zeal.



To see you laugh and smile... You have no idea how long the sound of your laughter can stay in my head for. You have no idea how many times the things you've said has been replayed in my head.

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/12/2010 08:43:00 PM



♥I want so badly for fairytales to be reality.
Friday, July 9, 2010

Hello.

Sorry, but I have to write something somewhere that I know people will read.

I can't stand it anymore.

Keeping everything in is killing me.

But, as usual, I'm not gonna mention any names.

Oh, and if you're reading it but you decided not to in the end,

Just read the very last part, okay?

The P.S. part.

Thanks.

---

Every time I hear your name,

My heart leaps.

Every time I know I have a chance of seeing you,

I nearly die from ecstasy.

I love you so much it hurts.

I thank God that you're in my life,

And I promised myself that I'll never wish for anything more.

But it's getting harder and harder.

And I regret making the certain decision,

But I'm going to stick to it.

Somewhere in my head,

I still believe that my plan might work.

And if it doesn't,

Well, at least I tried.

You have no idea in the least how hard I'm trying.

I wish you knew.

Then maybe you wouldn't think of me as foolish.

But what am I supposed to do?!

It's not like I can tell my heart to stop feeling.

If I could, trust me, I would.

So many feelings have already faded away.

Hate for some people, jealousy and envy.

I don't feel those things anymore.

I only feel that feeling for you.

Whatever that feeling is called.

Love?

More like hell.

But heaven in hell.

Because even though it hurts so bad,

It gives me so much pleasure also.

So much that I can't stand it too.

What's wrong with me?

Who else feels this kind of thing?

Everything in me is like a whirlwind.

Everything's all messed up and it's chaos.

Ohmygod, I wish someone could help me.

But no one can save me from this,

It's up to myself.

It's my fault. My heart's.

I hate this feeling but I love it too,

Because I only hate it when I'm away from you.

But when I'm with you,

Every little second is like heaven, I swear.

Just seeing your face, seeing you smile,

I can't stand it.

It's too much.

You're too good for me. Much too good.

And if that's not hell enough,

You're haunting me in my dreams, too.

But I don't consider them nightmares,

Because you're in them.

Whenever you're there, like I said, it's heaven.

How could I call it hell? Or a nightmare.

So you haunt me in my dreams, as though my waking life isn't enough for you.

Isn't enough for you to torture, is that it?

If you're trying to torture me, then just get out of my life.

But please don't.

Because if you do, I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to live,

With that empty, cruel feeling in me all the time.

In my dreams, your eyes are so...

Different.

They are pretty.

Oh, so pretty.

But they also look empty.

So empty and hollow.

Why would someone like you have that kind of look in your eyes?

I thought you had everything in life.

Guess I was wrong.

Maybe I don't know anything about you after all.

Or maybe it's just my mind playing tricks on me as always.

Whatever it is, my point is the same.

My heart is fucking breaking apart.

But then when I see you, all the little tiny pieces come back together.

Then when you leave, they shatter again.

Then I think of you, and a small smile will cross my face.

Then I realise you're not with me and my smile disappears.

It's always the same thing.

I love thinking about you,

Because then I don't feel like I'm entirely alone.

For a moment, it's nice.

But that's in my fantasies.

Too bad they'll never become reality.

Even in a few years.

Even in forever's time,

Aeons from now.

Who knows what will happen, people say.

But I do.

I know that you'll never be with me.

It's sad, really.

Sad for me, not for you.

Stupid love triangles.

I'm always caught in the middle of them.

Always at the losing end.

Hah. Guess it's my fate, isn't it?

God, I'm so stupid.

Why did I even break that promise in the first place?!

I told myself I wouldn't,

And it's one of the only promises I broke.

I hate this.

I already knew I'd fall in love with you.

Because of the...

Weird things that happened in the past.

My stupid weird dreams that make everything so complicated.

They stir up dark thoughts of the past,

Of memories I wish I didn't have.

(I can't write about some stuff. Okay.)

---

Love♥
Zeal.

P.S. People who have read the thing above, thanks for reading it.

I don't even know if anyone is going to read it,

But if someone does, thanks.

I just need to know that someone knows what's going on,

Even though I wasn't clear.

I can't be clear.

Because no one can know EVERYthing.

There are too many secrets.

I hate keeping secrets,

Which is why I'm trying to be more open from now on.

I'm already beginning to tell Christine and Shernise more stuff.

So, thanks guys.

I hate feeling alone.

Stupid self-consciousness of mine.

Oh, well.

I'm so damn thankful that I have friends.

Love you all♥



But I don't want to either, because that means losing you.

If only we all could have the best of both worlds.

Tell her what to do, because she's losing her mind. She wants nothing more than to be with him but it's something she can never achieve. If only someone would tell him how she feels. But no one can do that for her. She can only wish.

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/09/2010 10:16:00 PM



♥I had a dream last night.

Hello.

I'll blog about today! :)

So, went to school.

HHP wasn't running; it was doing the YOG dance!

HAHA.

And okay, something embarrassing happened, but it wasn't that embarrassing.

Then had CME.

Then recess! :)

Then all the lessons were boring.

Then cabbed to Bedok Inter with Kit Wai, Jolene and Isabel (spelling?) for lunch.

Ate at KFC.

Then walked around for a while,

Had awesome bubbletea :)

But I didn't buy.

Shared with Jolene.

She shared with all of us :)

Thanks babe.

Then cabbed back to school for drama.

Isabel paid for us.

Damn nice. Heehee.

Then changed and all that.

We thought we were late, but we weren't :)

Drama was fun!

We sang the whole entire time!

My throat hurt just now,

But it's better now (Y)

So, I was supposed to go for a family dinner.

But then I got a text from my mum saying that I didn't need to go.

So I took a bus back home.

On the way back, I told Christine about the two embarrassing things that happened.

Argh, so embarrassing!

And it's weird ):

So anyway, I reached home and Twittered and Facebooked.

Yep, that's it.

I have like a lot of homework to do, man.

Most of it is Math ):

TGIF.

Okay, bye.

Love♥
Zeal.

P.S. I realised that nowadays, I make up my own "quotes".



But when I think of you, I don't feel so alone.

I wonder how you see me through your eyes,

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/09/2010 07:39:00 PM



♥I'll love you till all the stars fall right out of the sky.
Thursday, July 8, 2010

Why do I love you?

When I'm with you, I forget everyone else.

All the people who have hurt me,

They don't matter anymore.

There is just me and you.

And when I look in your eyes,

So deep and soulful,

That's exactly what it feels like.

It feels like you can see right into my soul.

If this isn't love, tell me what is.

It feels as though we can be together, even though I know we can't...

If that makes any sense.

It's an indescribable feeling.

It feels like everything is possible.

You make my heart beat so fast.

And it's like you are the only person who can keep me living and breathing.

It's like you are the only person who can crush me.

But please don't.

Because I love you. Because I'm a dreamer. And I'm a fighter when it comes to love.

So don't hurt me.

I'm begging you.

But what do my pleas mean to you?

Nothing.

But it's my fault, not yours.

Because I'm just screaming in silence.

I don't expect you to hear me.

Even if you did, I don't expect you to help me out.

Because your heart belongs to another.

She's the luckiest girl to ever live if you love her.

She must be the most treasured person in the world,

And the most loved.

What I wouldn't give to be in her place.

But sadly, you'll never love me like I love you.

And I can't stand it.

At least you play.

Or is that just me?

(-Ohmygod, the similarities-)

These silent screams,

They are echoing off the walls.

Everywhere I look,

Everything I hear,

Everything relates to you in a way.

Now I can't get the feeling of your eyes out of my head.

I still feel as though you're watching me.

But I also have a feeling that I'll never get it off me.

Love♥
Zeal.



I love you so much, it hurts. You shine so bright, brighter than all the stars, it hurts.

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/08/2010 06:50:00 PM



♥Don't understand it.

Hello.

Sorry I haven't been blogging!

No time.

Caught up with homework and this project I'm doing.

Anyway, what did I miss...

OH, Pohyi's birthday!

You can read it on Xtine's blog or Shernise's blog okay!

It's been so long already.

Okay, what else...

Tuesday, had school.

Nothing much.

Wednesday also, nothing much to say.

Okay, I shall blog about today then; Thursday :)

So this morning's weather was very nice!

Anyway, went to school,

Then went up to class I don't know why.

Then had assembly, then EL.

Did boring stuff.

For science also.

Uh, then Lit.

Our Lit teacher is damn funny I swear!

Hahaha, he makes Lit not boring! :)

Then had MT.

No teacher in the class for the whole period.

Then recess.

Bought curry puff.

Then had math.

Boring. As usual.

Then Music.

Which was okayyy, but quite boring.

I want DANCE! :(

So much more fun.

Anyway, then after school.

SOMETHING SO EMBARRASSING HAPPENED!

OMG.

Okay, anyway.

OH OH, Dezzy and Shernise and Pohyi and other 2.5 people were like,

Staring at the white guys that came to our school :P

They were ENJOYING THE VIEW, right? ;)

Heehee.

Then went to the canteen to eat and coz they were there.

Then after that, went up to 2.5 to take our bags.

Then Shernise they all went up to the AVT for a meeting or something.

Then SOMETHING EMBARRASSING HAPPENED AGAIN!

OMG. What is with this day?

Anyway, then went home.

Yep. So here I am :)

SMSing Ashley. Haha.

That girl is funneh.

Okay, I have to go do my homework now.

Then do my project.

Okay, so bye!

Love♥
Zeal.



Ohmygod, I'm so in love. And I don't want to be.

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/08/2010 03:48:00 PM



♥Desperation.
Sunday, July 4, 2010

Hello.

No more rubbish posts now! :)

Okay, a real post.

Friday.


Okay!

Friday was Pohpoh's birthday!!!

OH, @Pohyi, I'll be giving you your prezzie on Tuesday, okay!

Maaaaaybe Monday :)

But it'll be soon, don't worry!

Okay, so went to school.

It was be yourself day.

Lessons as per normal.

Sooo, yeah, it was okay.

Then after school, supposed to have a celebration,

But it was raining really heavily.

So in the end, cam-whored at 2.5 classroom.

Haha, funfunfun.

So cam-whored, then had to go for Dramaaa!

Damn, you know how long I've been waiting for Drama?!

Haha. So it finally came.

Drama was awe-someeee shit!

We did puppetry workshops stuff.

It's really cool.

But it ended so fast ):

So, had to go for family dinner.

Uh, went to eat at the airport.

At Breeks.

Wanted to eat at Swensens, but idk what happened.

Haha.

Food was okayokay.

Then went home.

Saturday


Saturday was homework day.

Eugh.

So, nothing to blog about.

Haha.

I only completed EL book review and section A of the math workSHIT.

Sunday


Went for catechism.

It was the same as usual.

Then after that went for family lunch.

At my godma's house.

It was boring.

Yep.

I'm supposed to be doing my homework now.

Planning to finish all except malay by today.

After this, I'm gonna go out to Ikea.

Then I'm going to exercise.

Like walk on the beach.

I don't wanna go D:

I wanna stay homeee.

But I need to go to Ikea to get something important.

Yep.

Okay, so bye.

Love♥
Zeal.



Can anybody hear me?!

Shouting in desperation, silents words are screamed,

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/04/2010 04:16:00 PM



♥How can it be wrong if it feels so right?
Saturday, July 3, 2010

Hello.

You want to know why I don't feel pain?

Read it.

---

What is a little pain,
Compared to what you made me feel?
There is no loss and no gain,
But you know what you did to me? Kill.

Your false pretense, your lies,
Nothing compared to your blood thirst.
And if you want me to die,
You can place me in a black hearse.

You know when people say that love hurts?
I laugh.
Because it is not the love that really hurts.
I think they've only got the half.

Who has felt,
Such a terrible kind of hurting?
Whose heart has been dealt
With the haunting?

Love♥
Zeal.



And she wonders all the time.

They say follow your heart, but when your heart is left in so many pieces - which direction is there to follow?

♥Loveyoubitches//
@ 7/03/2010 11:35:00 AM